blue_babe333 on Xanga

blue_babe333
read my profile sign my guestbook Message: message me Member Since: 10/26/2003

SubscriptionsSites I Read
Subscribe to blue_babe333 Get trial subscription

Blogrings
604 Grad 05 previous - random - next Vancouver 604 previous - random - next 604 Grads '05 previous - random - next UBC previous - random - next

Posting Calendar

\|<< oldest \| newest >>\|
view all weblog archives

Sunday, March 01, 2009

You wonder why...

I try to distance myself...try to be independent...try to push you away, never wanting your help...

The disappointment I face when I learn you're not there when I need is too much to face ... and you weren't there...when I tried to be closer... you weren't there ...

It's not something you can just "make up" for the times you weren't there...those were the times that I really needed you...not before...not after...

It's much easier to not need you at all... no disappointment, no anger, no sadness

and you wonder why...

3:24 AM - 11 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Thursday, February 19, 2009

2009

As the hours...days...months...years.. go by and by

The more you see, the more you learn

Is it suppose to get easier?

How can I be who I am, How can I be the way I want to be
when I don't know...

~~~~

I feel as if I'm trying to live two lives
Trying to fulfill and live up to two completely different and opposite expectations
And as hard as I try I can't fuse these two lives together
to make a whole, complete picture
to make my life whole
to make my happiness whole
to put me at peace

The two halves constantly at conflict
I can't stand the struggle of being one and the other
an eclipse only lasts for so long
to choose between the moon and the sun
neither will make me whole.

2:22 AM - 6 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Confused should be my middle name. I should also be banned from studying psychology and having meaningful talks with friends which cause thinking.

It really is true. The more I know...The more I realize I don't know.

With everything that has happened and are happening and possibly will happen...I'm doing surprisingly well which means I MUST have done something right...or continuing to be doing something right?

So perhaps for once I shan't stray from my path.

5:16 AM - 58 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

So I've learned...

MAYBE just maybe my parents were partially right about how emotional I am if I were ever to get into a relationship and how easily I'd be knocked down...but everything is a learning experience.

What did I learn? so maybe my parents aren't always wrong ...
But more importantly I learned that I'm able to get back up...eventually haha but that's what counts that I'm able to get back up. My parents acted like if I were ever to get knocked down I'd never be able to get up and for a split second I thought they were right about that one too. However it's not just about getting up. Obviously there's going to be bruises and scratches maybe even broken bones. The trick is to get back up and walk, run and jump as you did before; to not let those bruises, scratches or broken bones slow you down or prevent you from chasing your dreams. They all heal if you let it, those broken bones will heal and be as strong as before if you work on it and strengthen it.
I know lots of people who have fallen chasing after something they believed and gotten back up. But so many of those who get back up do not realize that their bruises, scratches and broken bones, yes even broken bones can and will eventually heal. For so many, once they realize they've been bruised, scratched or broken they start to be extra careful; they walk slower and stop running and jumping all together. Their destination which required walking through mud, running through fire and jumping across rivers become unreachable.
I know people who look at their broken legs and have watched it heal. But then they become afraid to use them, they become afraid to run because they know it's gotten weaker. But the trick is to use it even more, sure maybe it'll hurt at first but in time it'll strengthen and that destination becomes reachable once more.

Getting back up is not enough. Never let a fall break who you once were. Never let a bruise, a scratch or even a broken bone stop you from believing what you once believed in and going after it.

Please don't change.

4:59 AM - 15 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Monday, December 03, 2007

	IRONIC isn't it ? oh irony how I hate you.
	8:27 PM - 24 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Next 5 >>